The Life and Good Times of Mister Chris
Archive for March, 2007
Friday’s Flooding..
Mar 30th
It has been raining near non stop over the last 48 hours, and I am ok with that. It is that time once again where we get a shit load of rain and several near misses from Tornado’s. The funny thing about tornado’s is they are like over sized vacuum cleaners. They come through and suck shit up and then when it is finished sucking it shoots it back out everywhere.. just like a vacuum cleaner.. alas you can replace the vacuum cleaner, but those hard to find full sized vehicles of yours might be a little tricker if a tornado was nearby… hee hee
Anyway .. I read this Halle Berry reveals suicide attempt my favorite quote; “We were in sex rehab after one year. I wish I had left then, but I was putting everyone’s needs before mine,” Well if you fuck like you act then I am sure you needed all the help you could get. Halle, your movie’s suck!
She doesn’t rank to high on my list, never has, never will. I think she is a terrible actress and besides X-Men where everyone else in the movie made up for her suckiness. This person just bugs me, and I would rather stand out in traffic myself then ever watch another piece of shit movie featuring Halle Berry. She needs to go to the bahama’s and take a nap with Anna Nicole..
This whole Vince McMahon vs. The Donald crap is getting old. It is getting to the point to where everywhere you go or read there is something posted, commented, or viewed about it. Let’s just get it over with already.. I just can’t see Trump losing his hair, he would look like an idiot, and Vince is an egomaniac whom would do anything to draw ratings.
My vote? Vince will lose.. I guess that is the appeal to which millions of people will purchase Wrestlemania just to watch that one match.. I know I will .. *rolls eyes*
New entry in the book2: book of boneheads… “It Fell Off”
I saw a picture of someone on myspace which looked like someone I went to school. I decided to add them to my collection of internet whores and phonies but they had set up a deal where you had to either know their last name or email address. I passed and they are now part of my collection.. Interestingly enough, I think perhaps there fifteen to twnety people out of eighty or so I actually know, knew, etc.. the rest of them are just whatever… and no.. Tom is not my friend.. he can go eat a nice bowl of poop!
Perhaps I should start up a friends of nowayinhell.net page…. hee hee .. I wonder how many of them would be as demented or warped as me….
Hey the rain stopped!! Maybe I will go puddle jumping now!
Booyah!!! Boobs and Booty!
Mar 29th
If there is anything in life that I could pass on to others it is this… it doesn’t matter what you know, it is who you know..
Students give up social networks for Lent WTF!! This just made me laugh!! My daughter gives up candy, one of my friends gave up red meat.. but hey giving up social networks on the internet is a pretty big step to! I mean what will life be like with out all the social whores on the internet pretending to be something they aren’t? *cough… choke.. laughs* I think lent should be extended much longer then it is now …
Speaking of religion.. my work says I can decorate for easter, but not christmas.. how fucked up is that?? I think a religious person would find this to be a bit… disturbing.. actually I just laugh.. a lot…
“If you are touchable you will be touched..”
Mar 28th
The title was an exact quote a friend of mine was told when he did something someone didn’t like. I have to tell you this has to be the most piss poor threat I have ever heard …. in my life.
Does anyone remember this show? The Electric Company Not sure why I do… I am even less sure why I was sharing this with you .. *shrugs* whatever…
I am however intruiged by Evan Almighty.. After viewing the trailer I moved from your fucking kidding me.. to .. alright I might give it a shot…
You know the problem with wanting to purchase a new cel phone is not knowing what the hell you want .. or more so deciding on what the hell you want… *groans* I went from the Q, to the razr, to the PPC 6700, and now to the Treo 750 … dammit!!
Last night Vanessa and I visited our old high school just from the outside the place has changed a lot. From the student parking lot, we walked up to the entrance doors to peek inside. From what we saw, the inside had changed a lot from what we remembered over ten years ago. *shrugs* fuck I am old… I even dreamed about being back in high school last night which means I need to stay away from that place for another ten years.. *smirks*
Casino Royale and Angry Lesbians..
Mar 27th
Last night I finished watching the new 007 movie. Other then the over extended love scene the movie flat out kicked ass… if you haven’t watched it, then stop reading this and go watch the damn movie…
When you finish watching the movie come back here and continue reading …. I have a presents for you …
Well at least a new bone head .. check out, I KNOW FRED!!
Oh the big to do all over the news accross the country regarding kissing carpet munching at an IHop in Grandview was a joke. I actually went and took some pictures of the I think six people whom were there protesting. I will post the picture on here and I want you to remember those six people were the only ones who gave a shit about the incident… nice… *smirks*
There was a contest at work involving the rest of the stores in the district involving clearance items, I was pitted up against my old boss and trainer. Respectfully I won, but to the rest of the stores, I fucking crushed them with a percentage of %172.85 the person in second place holds the title with a mere, %97.44. There is a rumor going around that my boss has to clean my bathroom.. if this happens.. there will be pictures…
Still Dead!!
Mar 26th
Last time we checked, Anna Nicole / Vickie Lynn Marshall / The Baskin Robbins of Penises, is still dead.. they just needed to dissect her just to be sure .. we didn’t want to chance it and have another Anna Nicole reality series on our hands….
Officials: Smith’s death caused by overdose ya thunk?? My favorite part was… “She didn’t suffer, she went to sleep.” More like a dirt nap.. but hey sleep is sleep…
I spent the entire day yesterday doing absolutely nothing … and it was awesome!! I just sat on my ass playing around on the laptop figuring out where they put shit in Windows Vista.. now the dissecting begins…
I’m out….
Batman Arrested? and Jeb is still a loser
Mar 24th
There are so many things I could say about this but I just can’t think of just one … so you be the judge … Batman And Chewbacca Vs. The Crapper-Guarding Picketers
Let’s just hope Batman doesn’t get sent here.. Maricopa County
Oh yeah like we needed proof the Bush family were a bunch of morons, but we can thank the press for helping us not forget… Jeb Bush Denied Honor At University Of Florida
I think that is it for now …. I have to go back to work… and prepare for inventory… *groans*
Pancakes and Rug Munching…
Mar 23rd
Yesterday’s piss poor post was more me telling the world that if you are having problems with Vista, then either A. Your computer is older then dirt.. or … B. You are just too stupid to understand it. I installed it yesterday and messed with it for a couple of hours last night when I got home from my grandparents.
The GUI is much more attractive, and a lot of shit is just moved to a different location. Once I get used to it I think I will adapt to using it as much as I use XP. Some of the things featured on the desktop reminded me a lot of the applications people would install on their computer to clutter their desktop. i.e. desktop side bar.. althought I kind of like the picture slide show feature since it reminds me of having a picture frame if you will on your desktop.
Once I finish jizzing over the features I am sure like XP I will go through an start stripping out the bullshit and I will be happy. My best advice on Vista thus far is ensure you have a gig of ram… it uses a lot of memory… *groans*
Speaking of jizzing I wanted to update you on the post I had about getting laid… I am good now … I got it out of my system when I got home that night.. like three times… I just wanted to share that with you in case you were concerned for my well being… *smirks*
Found some more people I went to school with on MySpace, not sure how many of them I am going to add, or even make contact with… actually Vanessa found them.. but still … *shrugs*
And finally… this morning I learn of an incident where I guess a couple of rug munchers were smooching at an Ihop in recent pastA kissing story hits the big time So tonight we are going to have a large amount of angry lesbians marching around protesting and eating pancakes… perhaps they will cover themselves in syrup and start licking each other .. or just have like a syrup wrestling match much like mud wrestling…
If you think that is bad one of my boys want to take his digital camera up there and start taking pictures of the angry lesbians.. he is hoping it will actually rain since it is in the forcast so we will have as he quoted: “Wet angry lesbian t-shirt contest.” evil grin
We just might have to “hop” over there and check it out…
For some strange reason the following scene from Chasing Amy came to mind…
Banky Edwards: Alright, now see this? This is a four-way road, OK? And dead in the center is a crisp, new, hundred dollar bill. Now, at the end of each of these streets are four people, OK? Are you following?
Holden: Yeah.
Banky Edwards: Good. Over here, we have a male-affectionate, easy to get along with, non-political agenda lesbian. Down here, we have a man-hating, angry as fuck, agenda of rage, bitter dyke. Over here, we got Santa Claus, and up here the Easter Bunny. Which one is going to get to the hundred dollar bill first?
Holden: The man-hating dyke….
I think that is it for now…
Vista… What’s The Big Deal
Mar 22nd
I have heard the rumors about Vista.. not enough drivers for it.. doesnt work well on someone’s computer, things go awol, once installed the computer inhales your soul and then itself, etc. Well I installed it onto my laptop, and much to my suprise everything works extremely well.
I beta tested a copy a short while back and I had driver issues with my wireless internet adapter and my sound card both of which work just fine on my computer so whatever. For the amount of time I have had to mess with it I think it is alright.. I already took off the annoying sidebar with the clock and shit.. but once I get really dirty with it we shall see what I have to say then..
So there you have it, thus far my first opinion is if you are having problems with Vista you are a moron..
Ehh.. Monday Morning Masterbation…
Mar 19th
Catchy title don’t you think ===> ?
I didn’t get any sex this morning or last night so I am a bit … cranky… I will ensure I get some before I go to the managers meeting tomorrow… or my bosses might have to execute me.. I just need some of that good ol fasioned head board banging, mattress moving, sweaty sex and I will be a new man!
Once I get laid, I will be able to take on the world including but not limited to nine plus hours of district managers reminding us that no matter how hard we try, we are still just little nuggets in a pool of turds just floating around waiting to get be flushed down the toilet bowl of disappointment.. now that was funny…
No word on whether or not Studio 60 is going to get the axe or not. I am hoping they give it one more season to improve. I have to agree with an article I read comparing it to The West Wing. The WW first season wasn’t that hot either but from Season 2 to Season 5 it was awesome..
I have never watched Veronica Mars nor could I care less whether or not the show was to be cancelled, but this bitch is hot!! bang… bang… bang.. bang….
Then again I have always had a thing for Kate Beckinsale..
Bang… Bang… Bang…
I told you I was horny…
Keep an eye on your toothbrush… The End Of Days.
Mar 18th
Nothing like watching Arnold Schwarzenegger take on Satan using shot guns on the bring of the new millenium.. for that you have to love End Of Days…
I updated the Meta Tags to something somewhat more factual about nowayinhell.net since there are websites such as aboutus.org posting what you have written in your meta tags as your website description.
I kind of had a rough day today so I resorted to ending the day with a nice dose of Jack and Coke. I am a quarter of the way through the bottle as it is and I am sure to be in trouble soon for the amount I have consumed…
Oh .. when you are a loser you might want to keep an eye on your tooth brush because people are known to take the toothbrush and place it with in the toilet bowl and start scrubbing the porcelin while flushing the toilet.
hee hee …